Epic Movie
|language = English |release date = January 26, 2007 |runtime = Original theatrical version 85 minutes Unrated version 93 minutes |rating = (Original theatrical version) |distributor = Regency Enterprises (theatrical) 20th Century Fox (DVD) |budget = $20 million |gross = $86,865,564 (Worldwide)}} Epic Movie is a 2007 American parody film directed and written by Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer and produced by Paul Schiff. It was made in a similar style to Date Movie, Friedberg and Seltzer's previous film, but as a spoof of the "Epic" style of films, hence the name. The film mostly references The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, the Harry Potter films and Tim Burton’s version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The song Ms. New Booty by Bubba Sparxxx gained commercial attention for being featured in Epic Movie. The film grossed $87 million US dollars at the box office, over four times its $20 million budget. Plot The film begins with a parody of The Da Vinci Code. Lucy (Jayma Mays), finds that her adoptive father (David Carradine), a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas (Kevin Hart). Before dying, he gives clues by break dancing which lead her to a "Golden Ticket" in a vending machine candy bar. Edward (Kal Penn), is training at a Mexican monastery to be a monk. Ignacio (Jareb Dauplasie) becomes enraged at Edward's displeasure at the living conditions and has him thrown out the window. On the way Edward grabs a Monk's "Golden Ticket". Next, the film introduces Susan (Faune Chambers). She is going to Namibia to meet her new adoptive parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson (James Walker, Sr.) pops up and starts repeatedly saying "I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!" and then throws Susan out of the plane so that she would be safe. Susan falls on Paris Hilton and finds her "Golden Ticket" in Paris' purse. Then the film introduces Peter (Adam Campbell) a mutant, a student at Mutant Academy, who is often teased for his chicken-like wings. One day, he asks Mystique (Carmen Electra) to come with him to the homecoming dancing, but he ends up bullied by Mystique's jealous boyfriend, Wolverine (Vince Vieluf), and the Headmaster, Magneto (Jim Piddock). As Magneto wills a locker door to open and knock Peter to the ground, another student's "Golden Ticket" falls onto Peter's chest. All four meet up at Willy's Chocolate Factory. Willy (Crispin Glover) reveals his diabolcal secret: he plans to use them all as the 'special ingredient' in the treats (which is actual human parts). In an effort to hide from the maniacal Willy, Lucy soon finds a wardrobe. On the other side, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus (Hector Jimenez). He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia. Feeling a burst of compassion, he manages to warn Lucy of the danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle. All four main characters make their way to Mr. Tumnus' house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver (Katt Williams), Tumnus' life partner. While this is occurring, Peter becomes "Super Peter", but in the dream he gets shot in the eye and falls off a building, only to find out it is a nightmare. Edward sneaks off to the White Bitch's castle, despite realizing she intends evil. Edward refuses to tell the White Bitch where his friends are,so she flashes him her breasts, hypnotizing him into giving up the information on the orphans; he is then imprisoned. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus sacrifices himself to ensure their safety. They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter (Kevin McDonald), along with a balding Ron Weasley (George Alvarez), and a pregnant Hermione Granger (Crista Flanagan) in Hogwarts, and other characters from famous movies. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch. It's soon revealed she plans to create a new continent for her followers via a magic crystal; she acknowledges this is the same plot as Superman Returns. Edward escapes with the assistance of Captain Jack Swallows only to find out later that it was a ruse as the Captain, the Bitch's old enemy, needs intelligence out of Edward. Jack is then stabbed by the White Bitch as the crystal is thrown in the ocean and grows, putting the witch's plan in motion. Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter head to the camp of Aslo (Fred Willard). Aslo agrees to help Edward ,and he manages to kill Silas, but while breaking Edward out, Aslo is slain by the White Bitch. Despite this, the ungrateful orphans have a pre-battle party, during which Peter and Mystique (who, along with the others who bullied Peter, had come to help the trio) make love. Susan gets drunk and vomits everywhere; this so disgusts their new army that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. Despite the presence of a revenge-craving Jack on a giant wooden wheel, the four siblings are easily dispatched by the enemy. Peter is about to be slain when he finds the remote from the film Click (2006), using the device's reality altering powers to save his siblings; they kill the army and erase the White Bitch's plot. Although the others attempt to kill her while frozen, Peter declares the White Bitch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Gnarnia as it will be under a democracy. However,before it can be done, Jack's wheel crushes her. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land: Peter the Heroic; Susan the Just; Edward the Loyal; and Lucy the Dumb-shit. Tumnus then shows up; having survived his battle with Silas. Decades later, the four now elderly rulers find the wardrobe again. They appear moments after they had left, now young again. They meet Borat, who congratulates them on a happy ending but, then, the four are run over by Jack's wheel. Borat is mad with himelf for saying it was a happy ending, so he slaps his butt, ending the movie. Extended version The unrated, longer version (released in the UK as the "Rude & Crude Unseen Version") of the film features some scenes not shown in the theatrical version. Here are the differences between the theatrical PG-13 cut and the unrated cut.: *In the opening scene, you can see the "Dogs Playing Poker" painting on the walls at the Louvre. *During the parody of The Da Vinci Code, Lucy says; "I haven't read the book on tape". *The breakdance the museum curator does is longer and we get an added shot of the knife-swinging Silas. *During the Nacho Libre parody, the scene where Ignacio screams "Nacho" is much longer and he starts jumping. *In the Snakes on a Plane scene, when the Samuel L. Jackson lookalike yells, he replaces "God damn" with "motherfuckin'". However, the scenes are equal. *During the X-Men parody, Mystique dances a little longer. *Willy's entrance is extended. He walks through the door, removes his hat, does a somersault and welcomes his guests (while using their first names). **However, in the theatrical cut, Willy comes through the door, welcomes nobody, but asks the four protagonists to come in. Cast *Kal Penn as Edward Pervertski *Adam Campbell as Peter Pervertski/Super Peter *Faune E. Chambers as Susan Pervertski *Jayma Mays as Lucy Pervertski *Jennifer Coolidge as The White Bitch *Tony Cox as Bink *Hector Jimenez as Mr. Tumnus/Tony Fauntana *Crispin Glover as Willy *Fred Willard as Aslo Home video The film was released on DVD on May 22, 2007, in an unrated version, and a theatrical version as well. As of late 2009, 1,040,120 DVDs were sold, bringing in $16,807,388. External Links Category:Comedy Category:Comedy films Category:Parody films Category:American comedy films Category:American parody films Category:2007 films Category:2007 Category:Regency Enterprises films Category:Box Office Bombs